Anonymous said: What do you think about people who say that bdsm is anti-feminist? Like a few days ago I saw a conversation about how it's kinda off putting how a man gets turned on by abusing another woman. And now I don't really know what to think? I wanted an opinion on someone who is a feminist and in bdsm.
BDSM is not about “a man abusing a woman.” Women can be dominant, and every kind of queer dynamic possible exists in the community. It is extremely hetero-normative, and honestly sexist, to assume that every dynamic has a Dominant cis male and a submissive cis female.
Sadism is not a bad thing. The clear difference between being a sadist and being someone with Sexual Sadism Disorder is the fact that healthy sadism is practiced safely, with consenting partners.
Feminists who claim to be saving women from “abusive Dominant men” are silencing people like me—masochists who have time and time again benefited from mutual sadomasochism and practice in a safe, loving manner. Any feminist who tells me that I have to run my sex life by their rules is oppressing me and my right to choice.
Feminism is not about taking choices away from feminists in order to “save them,” it is about understanding that adults can make choices for themselves and shouldn’t be controlled by what society thinks is acceptable for them to do with their sexuality.
Xonada nessa resposta! *-*